The other morning as I sat in my Quiet Time, I noticed a grouchy old man sitting on my shoulder.
I’m not sure when he arrived. Maybe he’d landed there that morning, or maybe he’d taken up residence several days ago.
But there he was. Sitting in a creaky rocking chair on my shoulder. Mean scowl on his face. Arms crossed. Leaning close to my ear. Heckling me like a cranky old man angry about everything and everyone.
It seems he’d decided it was his job to comment on all kinds of things.
My work. My relationships. My imperfections. Other people. The world around me.
The Voice That Won’t Shut Up
He wasn’t just mildly irritated. He was spewing vitriol.
And he had plenty to say.
“You’re never going to succeed with that Divine Flow project you’re working on.”
“All that negative criticism people say about you? Maybe it’s true.”
“You might as well fess up and quit before you make a fool of yourself.”
And once he finished cranking at me, he pulled out his list and started cranking at everyone else.
“I can’t believe people can be so critical of others when they’re the ones acting like hypocrites.”
“I can’t believe the neighbor still hasn’t figured out where he keeps his lawnmower.”
“I can’t believe those kids across the street can make that much noise before six o’clock in the morning.”
And soon, I was becoming that grouchy old man.
What’s Underneath the Grumbling?
And then, I got to thinking, maybe the grumbling wasn’t about the neighbor’s lawn, the kids across the street, or the people who drive me crazy.
Maybe it was coming from a deeper place in me.
I was tired. I was discouraged. And without realizing it, I was quietly judging myself for not being further along on the spiritual path, not being more patient, not having everything figured out. Not being perfect.
So, I brought my pondering to God. I asked Him to help me understand why I kept listening to that grumpy old man scowling at me. Why was I letting that grumbling voice become my voice?
And what rose up within me were Jesus’ words about love.
When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, he said: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.”
And then he added: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
That’s the heart of Matthew 22:37–39. Love God. Love others. Love myself.
I understand the first two commands.
I’m supposed to love God. I’m supposed to love my neighbor.
But sometimes I skip right over that last little phrase: as yourself.
And as I sat there in quiet time, I realized I wasn’t loving myself.
Not when I kept letting that grumpy old critic sit on my shoulder and bark at me.
Not when I kept believing the harsh accusations he hurled at me.
Not when I treated his voice as if it were wisdom, maturity, responsibility, or even spirituality.
Maybe part of loving God and loving others is learning how to love myself the way God loves me.
Because if I don’t know how to receive compassion for myself, it becomes much harder to offer compassion to others.
If I’m harsh with myself, I often become harsh with the people around me.
If I live under constant accusation, I start accusing everyone else too.
The Great Impostor
Here’s what makes the grumpy old critic so tricky.
He often sounds like he has wisdom. He says he’s being realistic. He says he’s being responsible. He says he’s telling the truth.
But often, it’s not wisdom. It’s shame wearing a spiritual disguise.
Shame exhausts us. Wisdom helps us grow.
What’s Happening Inside of Us?
When we constantly judge ourselves, our minds become tense and defensive. We walk around in “threat mode.”
We scan for what’s wrong. With ourselves. With others. With life.
And the grumpy old critic keeps leaning into our ear, shouting the same tired message:
“You’re not enough.”
If we don’t pay attention to whose voice we’re listening to, we can start mistaking the critic’s voice for our own.
Over time, that negative voice affects everything.
We lose our peace. We become impatient. We struggle to find good in anything or anyone, including ourselves.
The problem isn’t simply negative thinking. The deeper issue is often the wounded relationship we’re developing with ourselves.
So How Do We Quiet Our Inner Grouch?
Here are a few practices helping me.
1. Notice the Voice Without Becoming the Voice
One of the biggest shifts is learning to notice the grumpy old critic instead of automatically believing him.
Instead of saying, “I’m a failure,” I can pause and say: “There’s that grumpy old critic on my shoulder again.”
That small shift creates space.
I am not the critic. I am the one noticing the critic.
That matters. Because once I can notice the voice, I don’t have to let him run the whole show.
I can gently say: “I hear you, but I’m not listening to you today.”
Awareness is where healing begins.
2. Allow Yourself to Be Perfectly Human
Perfectionism sounds noble, but underneath it is often fear.
The fear of not being enough. The fear of disappointing others. The fear that God couldn’t possibly love us as we are.
The grumpy old critic loves perfectionism because it gives him an endless job.
There is always something for him to fix. Something to regret. Something to shame.
But God’s invitation isn’t to become perfect. The invitation is to accept that we are already perfectly human.
Imperfect.
Unfinished.
Still growing.
And at the same time, we’re also perfectly divine, not because we have earned it, but because, through the grace of God, He is already within us.
Our True Self isn’t something we create. It’s what God awakens within us.
As we allow ourselves to be perfectly human, God molds us with His Divine Nature and awakens us to who we are in God.
Beloved. Held. Awakening to our True Essence as God’s Divine Love in our human form.
3. Speak to Yourself With Compassion Instead of Condemnation
Many of us speak to ourselves in ways we’d never speak to another person.
We let the grumpy critic say things to us we would never say to a friend, a child, or someone we love.
What if, instead, we learned to respond the way God responds?
Not with denial. Not with indulgence.
But with truth wrapped in mercy as God reminds us: You’re good. You’re still growing. You’re already loved as you are.
That’s not arrogance. It’s humility rooted in compassion.
The Voice of God may correct us. It may invite us to grow. It may tell us the truth. But it never crushes us with contempt.
4. Replace the Critic’s Voice With God’s Voice of Love
Here’s the deeper invitation I’m beginning to hear. It’s not enough to notice the grumpy critic.
We also need to replace his voice with a truer voice: God’s Voice of Love.
The critic says: “You’re never going to succeed.”
God’s Voice of Love says: “Keep going. Just take the next faithful step.”
The critic says: “You might as well quit.”
God’s Voice of Love says: “Listen. Stay open. I’m with you.”
The critic says: “You’re not enough.”
God’s Voice of Love says: “You are perfectly human. And you are loved as you are.”
Perfectly human. Not flawless. Not finished. Not beyond struggle.
But human. Real. Honest. Open to growing. Still becoming.
And maybe being perfectly human doesn’t mean escaping our human experience. Maybe it means allowing divine love to meet us right in the middle of our humanity.
In our fear. In our self-doubt. In our unfinishedness.
God’s love doesn’t shame us into becoming someone else. God’s love meets us as we are, then slowly shapes and molds us from within.
Little by little, God’s love helps us let go of the false layers we’ve picked up along the way.
The judgments. The criticism. The shame. The impossible standards. The belief we have to become perfect before we can be loved.
And underneath all those layers, we begin to discover who we really are.
The pure essence of our loving Self in God. The Self God created. The Self God delights in. The Self the grumpy critic keeps trying to condemn.
Whose Voice Are You Listening To?
The goal is not to violently throw the critic off our shoulder. That only creates more inner war.
The gentler path is to notice the inner critic’s voice, smile, and say: “I hear you. But I’m learning to listen to another voice now.”
A better voice. A deeper voice. God’s Voice of Love. The Voice that doesn’t crush us with contempt. The Voice that doesn’t demand we escape our humanity.
The Voice that says: “You are perfectly human. Let my love meet you there.”
That’s Why They Call It Practice
I’m beginning to believe that one of the deepest forms of healing isn’t becoming a flawless person. It’s learning how to live with greater honesty, compassion, humility, and openness to God.
It’s learning how to recognize the grumpy old critic sitting on our shoulder without letting him narrate our whole life.
Less accusation. More compassion.
Less shame. More truth wrapped in love.
Less inner grumbling. More inner gentleness.
Maybe God’s Voice of Love has been whispering this to us all along: You don’t have to become perfect to be loved. You are perfectly human.
And when we allow Divine Love to meet us as we are, God slowly awakens us to our True Self.
The Self beyond the judgment. The Self beyond the criticism. The Self beyond the shame.
The pure essence of your loving Self in God.
Little by little, the grumpy old critic begins to quiet down. Not because we have wrestled him into silence. But because we are learning to listen to God’s Voice.
Want to Go Deeper?
If this reflection speaks to you, I invite you to download the free street-level guide on my website:
Replacing the Inner Critic with the Voice of Love
It’s a simple, practical guide to help you notice the harsh voice within, quiet the shame, and listen more deeply to God’s Voice of Love.
Have a blessed week.
Your friend in the flow,
brian
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Celebrating Stories of Hope and Transformation:
A Virtual Launch Party
You’re invited to celebrate Brian Plachta’s new book:
Divine Flow: Reclaiming the Lost Art of Contemplation for Everyday Life
Date: Tuesday, June 23, 2026
Time: 6:30 p.m. Eastern
Location: Live on Zoom
Grab your favorite beverage, slip into your PJs or slippers, and join us for a relaxed evening of stories, laughter, wisdom, and grace.
You’ll leave with fresh hope, practical wisdom, and a renewed sense of God’s presence in everyday life. If you can’t attend live, don’t worry! Register anyways and we will send you the recording. Click the button below to RSVP.
RSVP HERE: https://www.brianplachta.com/booklaunch
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An excerpt from my upcoming book:
Divine Flow: Reclaiming the Lost Art of Contemplation for Everyday Life
“Have you ever stood on the beach and watched in awe as the sun set over the lake?
Ever heard a child’s laughter and felt its sound fill your heart with unspeakable joy?
Have you ever held a loved one’s hand and promised them every- thing would be okay?
Those aha! moments are glimpses of heaven on earth. The ordi- nary became extraordinary through the heart’s lens of love. In an instant, the kingdom of God shines within you—a Divine Presence, a wellspring of peace, love, and joy fills your being.”
If you pre-order Divine Flow before June 23 and email me your receipt to [email protected], I’ll send you these packages of bonuses worth over $50:
- The Divine Flow Journal and
- The Divine Flow Daily Reflections PDF
To learn more about my upcoming book Divine Flow: Click here
Links to Pre-Order:
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If you’re seeking a gentler start to your mornings—one you can carry with you into your day to find more inner peace—I invite you to join divineFlow Daily, a free short reflection and quote sent to your inbox each day. In under a minute, it’s meant to help you slow down, breathe, and remember what truly gives life before the noise sets in.
Sign up for divineFlow Daily here.
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